Bug Report: The Baby is crying


What happens if you treat a crying baby as a bug you need to write a bug report for? A few weeks ago I welcomed my first child into the world, and as with all babies, he cries a lot so I thought I’d try writing a bug report for when he cries.

Title: My baby is crying
Priority: Major

Baby has wide open mouth, loud noises are heard coming from the mouth, a watery liquid appears from edges of the eyes, limbs may flail around wildly and body may experience moments of tension with arched back.
Commonly known as crying.

Steps to reproduce:
1 - Have a baby (or find existing one, much easier and quicker)
2 - Sit and watch them for sometime between 1 minute and 12 hours (wait is longer as baby gets older)
3 - Baby will cry for anywhere between a few seconds and several hours

Variables which may speed up process:
- Baby is too warm
- Baby is too cold
- Baby has gone to the toilet
- Baby heard a loud noise
- Baby realised parents aren't nearby/holding them
- Baby needs to burp
- Baby needs to fart
- Baby is tired
- Baby was taken out of the bath
- Baby is in an uncomfortable position
- X other reasons unknown to man

There are many reasons a baby might cry, and babies have been crying for as long as there have been babies. Due to the very large scope of solving this problem, the recommended action is "Will not fix". Many workarounds exist such as cuddling, rocking, swaying, patting, talking, singing, changing, etc... so stick with these for now